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Ok, this feels like an AWESOME start to some chapter outlines/synopsis for a wonderful story. I would suggest that, if any of these characters are real people, that you change the names. On one loose look-up I do see that Helms was indeed the CIA Director, so you’d naturally want to avoid anyone related to these places/projects causing any defamation issues with you. People are smart enough to realize that of course the names aren’t going to match up to real people. It’s a work of fiction based on a real project. That decision is completely up to you and your vision. Additionally, I believe that you have two stories you can make here. I would personally split the CRISPR project into a separate book and possibly a sequel to the APEX story. It just depends on where you want to go with the overall idea, but I think you have more than enough to get two stories out of this, after some development. Let me know what you think, which ideas you’re married to, and what your vision is overall. We’re here to help.
My initial thoughts are, make it about both of them. For this to ultimately makes sense in the long run, he (APEX) obviously escapes into the wild at some point to be the subject of sightings. But then we reach the issue of one male does not make a species. A male and female could. So, if she’s thrown in as part of the team who helps create APEX, and Hatch is the antagonist, and he’s borderline insane about weaponizing this thing, then you could take that route. She could either develop feelings for Webb. She could empathize with what is happening to him and somewhat disagree with the experiment on moral grounds. Then, perhaps, Hatch sees this and does the same thing to her. Maybe they learn how to stabilize the compound by then and create a pair. That’s only one way to go with it and it’s your story. It just makes sense that in the end there needs to be a pair that can create offspring.
First, this is a group of good, strong ideas and they can be developed into something beautifully entertaining. Is Dr Sarah Chen the central character, or is Webb/APEX the central character? There’s a couple of different ways I can help suggest depending on which way you want to lean. Or do they share the spotlight? Second, I need to help you decide what the ultimate goal is, so we know essentially what you feel like the ending should be. We can fill in the rest from there and help you decide if these are truly separate chapters that need expanded upon, or if they’re ideas that belong to the first chapter and need to be left alone or worked in differently.
